Sheep Inbox

[aididitmyway]

please astral project here

it'll look pretty later

Comments

[aiwillneversmile]

He tried before the concert. It was exactly the same as with mom. And I'm not always with you; you were touring around the country without me. Lyra, I had to.

[aididitmyway]

No, you didn't! Nothing's gonna justify killing yourself for me, Cygnus. I—I don't want to accept that. I need you to be alive. You promised we could handle dad together!

[aiwillneversmile]

We did. You forgave him. And if he hadn't tried anything, I would have left him alone. You were too kind, Lyra. He used that against you and mom. It had to stop.

[aididitmyway]

That doesn't count and you know it. You're not allowed to try to come up with a loophole to make your death okay.

[aiwillneversmile]

It counts and you know it. I died once because he sent someone when she was about to give birth, and then he did it again when she shared her address. And what about Yura?

. . . I don't want my life always connected to him! I just wanted him gone!

[aididitmyway]

[She moves, tackling him and pulling him down into a hug on the bed.]

I know. I—I know. But even if your life is connected to his...

[She pauses, thinking her words over carefully for a moment, trying to decide how she wants to say it.]

But our lives are always going to be connected. We were in the past, and we are now. Doesn't that outweigh him? I never wanted you to be gone before me.

[aiwillneversmile]

[burying himself in her, betraying his previous coldness. slightly shaking his head]

I can't, I couldn't risk it. If something went wrong and you . . . I couldn't, Lyra. And I couldn't hurt your future, either.

[aididitmyway]

... Thank you for caring about me.

Just—... we have to fix it, okay? We have to, because I can't live without you. A life without him, but we get to be happy. It'd be stupid to not fix it when we can.

[aiwillneversmile]

We'll fix it. I don't want to leave you. —I don't want to die.

[aididitmyway]

Neither of us get to die. I want you to be alive... you have so much going for you, Cygnus.

[aiwillneversmile]

[don't remind him]

I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry I wasn't at your concert.

[aididitmyway]

...

I'll forgive you once we fix it and you're watching from the front row. And I won't tell Kana anything.

[aiwillneversmile]

[chuckles before immediately being caught in a sob]

I'd be okay just seeing the encore . . .

[aididitmyway]

... I would be, too. Just—We're going to figure it out.

[Does she keep saying it because she's trying to soothe herself or trying to inspire confidence? It's both, honestly.]

[aiwillneversmile]

Yeah . . . Yeah, we can fix it.

[aididitmyway]

And then you're not going to do anything like that ever again.

[aiwillneversmile]

[i won't have to...]

I won't. I promise.

[aididitmyway]

[how do u kno]

If you try anything I'm gonna find a leash.

[aiwillneversmile]

Okay. Go ahead . . .

[aididitmyway]

And you owe Kana the best date you can give her.

[aiwillneversmile]

Lyra . . . I can't think about Kana.

[aididitmyway]

When you can, then.

[aiwillneversmile]

I can't, Lyra. Ever. We aren't going to happen.

[aididitmyway]

[She's gonna be quiet for a bit, then.]

[aiwillneversmile]

She deserves better. And don't argue it. Yet.