[Her eyes start welling up with tears, because she can't... help... but stare at him, still disbelieving even though he wouldn't say it if it weren't true. She knows better than that. He wouldn't say it to be cruel, especially when there's no point in that.]
So you killed him and you died!? You already know how I felt about that, I thought—I can't—
It doesn't. I staged my own death, including stabbing myself, in order to kill him to protect you and your reputation. That's . . . That's just what I had to do.
[after a moment, she turns back around and marches straight back at him... and slaps him.]
You said we would figure it out together! You said you'd try to not leave me! We're lucky we can fix it, but what if we couldn't!? Do you seriously think it's better that I try to live without you??
Did it have to be that night!? We're always together, there's no way he could've gotten just me! It's not fair to make that kind of decision without me!
He tried before the concert. It was exactly the same as with mom. And I'm not always with you; you were touring around the country without me. Lyra, I had to.
No, you didn't! Nothing's gonna justify killing yourself for me, Cygnus. I—I don't want to accept that. I need you to be alive. You promised we could handle dad together!
We did. You forgave him. And if he hadn't tried anything, I would have left him alone. You were too kind, Lyra. He used that against you and mom. It had to stop.
It counts and you know it. I died once because he sent someone when she was about to give birth, and then he did it again when she shared her address. And what about Yura?
. . . I don't want my life always connected to him! I just wanted him gone!
[She moves, tackling him and pulling him down into a hug on the bed.]
I know. I—I know. But even if your life is connected to his...
[She pauses, thinking her words over carefully for a moment, trying to decide how she wants to say it.]
But our lives are always going to be connected. We were in the past, and we are now. Doesn't that outweigh him? I never wanted you to be gone before me.
Just—... we have to fix it, okay? We have to, because I can't live without you. A life without him, but we get to be happy. It'd be stupid to not fix it when we can.
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[And then she sharply pulls back, staring him down.]
You didn't.
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[she has to stand up and take a few steps away for a moment because she has to process her emotions. it's not like she was a fan of their dad.]
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I'm sorry. I couldn't leave it alone, and I got scared—
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So you killed him and you died!? You already know how I felt about that, I thought—I can't—
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Lyra, I had to.
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[She actually goes to rush out of the room, but stops herself at the door, scrubbing at her eyes.]
Even if we can fix it here, it doesn't change that you did it.
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You said we would figure it out together! You said you'd try to not leave me! We're lucky we can fix it, but what if we couldn't!? Do you seriously think it's better that I try to live without you??
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I lied . . . Because if the choice is between me and you, I'm always going to pick you.
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I love you. I need you to care about you more.
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. . . I don't want my life always connected to him! I just wanted him gone!
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I know. I—I know. But even if your life is connected to his...
[She pauses, thinking her words over carefully for a moment, trying to decide how she wants to say it.]
But our lives are always going to be connected. We were in the past, and we are now. Doesn't that outweigh him? I never wanted you to be gone before me.
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I can't, I couldn't risk it. If something went wrong and you . . . I couldn't, Lyra. And I couldn't hurt your future, either.
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Just—... we have to fix it, okay? We have to, because I can't live without you. A life without him, but we get to be happy. It'd be stupid to not fix it when we can.
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