aididitmyway | sweet suite inbox

[half laugh that ends in a cough, holding his chest]

I'll stop, I'll stop . . .

[wait a second]

Did you forget how to laugh?

What? No . . . It just hurts. And it makes it hard to breathe.

Why does it hurt? What happened?

[glancing to the side, catching something, while holding his chest tighter]

Ruby . . . Not now. Later? I'll see you later.

Aqua. Being hurt's a pretty big deal! You can't just—tell me later over getting hurt—

[who does she need to slap]

[shaky inhale]

I'm not — Hurt.

[going to steel himself and turn to go]

[She frowns, but—she reaches out to at least grab his hand, giving it a squeeze]

Then—

[but she remembers what happened at the gym, and after a short moment, she'll let go. especially if he's not hurt.]

... Do what you need to do. Just come back to me after.

[and then maybe? she can try talking to him about it.]

Edited 2023-08-25 03:18 (UTC)

[his fingers are cold but clammy, shaking her grip off absentmindedly]

I . . . will . . .

[going to unevenly shuffle off, trying to reach his room but not making it, wow medication does not help to just make this short and sweet]

[She... is going to let him do his thing in private or semi-private which is not her being there but like.

She's going to worry anyway.]

[after an hour or so:]

Sorry.

don't apologize
are you doing better now?

Recovering. Are you okay?

i'm fine
i was worried about you

[we're not going to talk about how her anxiety hella spiked and ruined her ability to do anything useful while he was handling his panic attack]

When aren't you?

[there's a lot of Aqua is writing..., quiet, Aqua is writing..., quiet, happening before eventually]

You can come, just don't touch.

ok
i'm on my way

[and true to her word there's a knock on the door not too long after]

[did not even make it to his room, just more than halfway to his room from hers. taking slow, deep but jagged breaths]

Sorry . . .

Edited 2023-08-25 03:55 (UTC)

[then! she stumbles over him in the hallway. she slides down the wall to take a seat next to him, but leaving room]

... Didn't I tell you not to apologize?

Maybe, I'm apologizing to myself.

[said halfhearted, still shifting away from her with the distance]

I can't explain it. I know the vague outlines, but it just comes up.

[resting her chin on her knees]

What are the vague outlines, then? Is there anything I can do?

Director always said it was when I was caught in a scene, becoming emotional, that this came . . .

For me, it's when I forget.

[shifting his position to try to loosen up]

Not touching and not pushing help. I could try exposure therapy, but I'd probably run us both raw.

... I'm sorry.

[Hmm. She takes a moment to think things over.]

Is that why you didn't want me hugging you earlier until you said I could?

For what? I was the one who pushed it.

Kind of.

Because I don't know how to help you? I didn't see it soon enough?

[Because she didn't realize what was happening??? She sighs.]

I wish I knew how to fix it for you.

Fixing it would mean telling anyone about this. Only Director and then Akane and Kana knew, and I didn't even mean for them to. I kept it from you and Miyako for a reason.

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